No Ordinary CONFUSION
by Mocca-Marocchi
Summary: A random talk about name and gender confusion involving Ib, Garry, Mary, and Marume Kuroudo. Feel free to read and review! WARNING: OOC, lots and lots and lots of chara trolling, grammatical errors, and unusual diction.


**DISCLAIMER: **Ib, Garry, and Mary of** "**Ib" game belong to Kouri. Marume Kuroudo of "Crush Gear Turbo Fighter" anime belongs to Sunrise. "Platina Parlour Butler Café" is a butler café in Indonesia, so it's not mine either. Aeyl is a semi-OC based on a friend's friend. I just own Mocca-Marocchi and the stupid plot =P

**WARNING: **Lots and lots and lots of chara trolling and bashing =P English isn't my native language, so excuse my grammatical mistakes and unusual diction. Feel free to advise me via review regarding my English. Thanks before!

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It was such a pleasant afternoon in Platina Parlour Café. With Corelli's La Follia[1] playing as the café's background music and cool ambient temperature thanks to the well-adjusted air conditioner, the atmosphere was completely soothing and relaxing. At a round table for four in a corner of the café, Ib, Garry, and Mary were sitting while enjoying a macaron tower for three and a glass of milkshake for each of them; Ib's milkshake was strawberry, Mary's was banana, and Garry's was blueberry. As usual, Garry brought the little girls to have dinner with him after finishing his part-time work.

"Too bad Mocca can't have dinner with us," Ib remarked while still munching on her macaron.

"Yeah, it would be more fun if she were here, but I guess we have to spend our time without her sometimes. I'm tired of her complaints about heaps of work, heartless boss, difficult exams, and so on," Mary said in annoyance.

"Aaanyway, you guys haven't forgotten that a friend of Mocca-Marocchi will join us in this table, right?" Garry reminded his younger companions.

"Of course! Look at the milk tea and the pancake served for the empty chair! They're already cold!" Mary stamped her both feet. "Lemme drink the tea, Garry! It's not like Mocca's friend will come in seconds!"

"No no no, little lady! It's rude! He may show up anytime!" Garry repeatedly moved his index finger to the left and right. "Whether it's already cold or not, at least we show that we care!"

"Whatever…." Mary pouted, folding her arms across her chest.

"Garry, do you know what Mocca's friend looks like?" Ib asked. Her big scarlet eyes looked straight into Garry's in curiosity.

"Umm…." Garry placed his index finger on his lips and rolled his eyes. "Well, Mocca-Marocchi said that her friend was-"

"Welcome to Platina Parlour Café!"

Garry's explanation was interrupted by the café butlers' cheery greeting. The greeting also caused the trio to turn their head to the café entrance. They saw a golden-haired teenage boy clad in white long sleeves blouse with red ribbon neck tie, purple vest, blue trousers, and black shoes walking past the entrance. Garry's eyes widened in delight when he realized that the boy's appearance was exactly the same as how Mocca-Marocchi described.

"HEEEYYY, OVER HEEEEREEE!" Garry exclaimed in a high-pitched voice and waved his hand vigorously to the boy, which attracted the boy's attention. After staring at Garry and his companions for a while, the youth approached the trio's table.

"Are you guys Mocca-Marocchi-san's friends?" the boy asked politely. His mild manner somehow resembled Ib's[2].

"Yes! Finally you come! We've been waiting for a long time!" Mary frankly exclaimed with a hint of annoyance in her voice.

"Mary, behave yourself!" Garry warned the blue-eyed little girl before turning his attention to the apologetic looking boy. "Dear me! I'm sorry for her misbehaviour. She's still so young, anyway. By the way, the name's Garry. Nice to meet you!"

"I'm Ib. It's a pleasure to know you," Ib introduced herself with a warm smile.

"….Mary," the golden-haired girl refused to look at the boy and gazed at the cold pancake and milk tea instead.

"I still have to apologize, though. I'm sorry to keep you waiting. There was something important I had to take care of, " the boy humbly bowed. "My name is Marume Kuroudo. It's nice to meet you."

"Okaay!" Garry clapped his hands effeminately, then motioned his hand to the empty chair between his and Ib's, "Have a seat, please! The milk tea and pancake are yours! Plus, don't hesitate to take some macarons!"

"Thank you very much," Kuroudo then seated himself. Realizing that the pancake and milk tea served for him had already been cold, he quickly took a sip of tea. "Does Mocca-Marocchi-san come late?"

"Oh my, I regret to tell you that she can't make it since she gets emergent works. However, she had left us a question for you. She also wants you to tell us the answer so that we can inform it to her," Garry explained while taking a small paper from his coat pocket and handing it to Kuroudo.

"What does she ask?" Mary curiously peeked at the paper.

"My, my, I told you to behave yourself, Mary…" Garry sighed, only to be ignored by Mary.

"It's alright. She just asked what my name actually is," Kuroudo let out a slight smile. His weird answer caused Ib, Garry, and Mary to frown.

"I'll read the full question for you, then," Kuroudo returned his attention to the paper and read the question aloud by impersonating Mocca-Marocchi. "Hello, Kuroudo! It's me Mocca-Marocchi! I just want to ask what your first name actually is. I believe Kuroudo is actually your name, but some people say that your name is Cloud, some other say it's Claude, and there are ones who think that it's Crowd! It's really confusing, so enlighten me, please! Big thanks!"

Ib, Garry, and Mary stared at Kuroudo in amazement, "Wow, you impersonated Mocca-Marocchi well…"

Kuroudo scratched his cheek, "…thank you, I guess? She's one of a kind, just like a super rare creature that should be preserved in the museum, so it's quite hard to forget her antics."

"My, my… I must say I totally agree with you. Well, what's the answer, then?" Garry asked before taking a macaron from the tower.

"Actually I'm a French-Japanese[3] and my name is written in katakana so some people think my real first name is either Cloud or Claude. However, my name in katakana is different from "Cloud" and "Claude" written in katakana," Kuroudo explained. "Does anybody bring a pen?"

"Thank goodness I have one!" Garry took a pen from his coat and gave it to the younger boy. Kuroudo then wrote some words in katakana on the backside of Mocca-Marocchi's question paper, "Well, let's compare the word "Claude", "Cloud", "Crowd", and "Kuroudo". Here they are."

Claude (Kurodo) : クロード

Cloud & Crowd (Kuraudo): クラウド

Kuroudo (my name ) :クロウド

"Oooh! So that's the difference!" Ib and Mary nodded to themselves upon seeing Kuroudo's writing. Ib politely added, "Thanks for the explanation. I learn something from this."

"The pleasure is all mine," Kuroudo replied with a faint smile before chugged the remaining tea and started eating his pancake.

"Come to think about it, your name confusion is much like Ib's[4]," Garry remarked. "Ib's name in katakana is "Ivu" (イヴ), and it must be romanized as "Ib"[5], but people insisted that her name is "Eve", while "Eve" in katakana is "Ibu" (イブ ). Ib's parents themselves says that her name is "Ib"! Why don't people understand!?"

"Calm down, Garry," Ib patted Garry's shoulder sympathetically.

"So I'm not the only one whose name is being misunderstood…" Kuroudo placed his hand on his chin. "It looks like we're in the same boat, Ib."

"Guys, it's the last macaron! Who wants it?" Mary asked out of the blue, holding a purple macaron. The blue eyed little girl then realized that Kuroudo hadn't eaten any macaron since his arrival at the café. Mary quickly handed the macaron to the boy with the same hair color as hers[6], "This is yours. Eat it."

Kuroudo blinked, "...for me?"

"Yep!" Mary put a wide smile on her face. "It's delicious, y'know!"

"Thank you so much," Kuroudo smiled, taking the macaron. Deep down inside, he was relieved that Mary was not angry at him anymore.

"Young Master Garry!"

A light blond haired butler suddenly came and patted (or more precisely, slapped) Garry's shoulder, causing the oldest of the four to let out a girly scream ("KYAAAAAAAAAAA!"). The scream jolted Kuroudo, but not the girls.

"YOU SHOCKED ME, SHUU!" Garry rebuked the butler, who just laughed innocently.

"It seems all of you have finished the macaron tower. That's cool! Do you want another macaron tower, Young Master Garry?" Shuu, the blond haired butler asked. Before Garry could answer, Shuu had turned his attention to Kuroudo, "Ah, your teacup is empty. Do you want some more tea, Miss?"

Kuroudo blinked, "What? Miss?"

"Yes, it's you, Miss. Do you want some more tea?" Shuu asked Kuroudo once more, with his innocent smile still intact. Kuroudo could only scratch his cheek nervously, "…sorry, but I'm a boy."

Shuu's smile suddenly vanished, "A boy?"

"Yes."

"For real?"

"For real."

A second later, Shuu started to sob, then he bursted in tears, "YOU'RE PRETTIER THAN ME! THERE'S NO WAY YOU ARE A BOY!"

"Bu-But I'm really a boy!" Kuroudo began to be panicked. He never thought the situation would turn out to be like this. Before Kuroudo could do anything, Shuu ran away crying from their table. The golden haired boy started to wonder what kind of sin he had committed to the poor butler.

"Rest assured, Kuroudo. All butlers here are weird," Garry slurped his blueberry milkshake. "Is that so…?" Kuroudo sighed. He felt a faint feeling of guilt deep down inside his heart.

"Anyway, you're really a boy, right, Kuroudo?"

Kuroudo turned his head in disbelief to Ib, who was now staring intensely at him. The golden haired boy mentally sighed and answered, "For the umpteenth time, YES. I. AM."

"To be honest, you're too pretty to be a boy, like Shuu said. Still, I believe you're not a girl. Your voice is deep, your way of speaking is masculine, and your body is too flat for a girl at your age," came another blunt comment from Mary. Kuroudo rolled his eyes, "Thanks for your understanding."

"Now, now, just because a boy looks so much like a girl, doesn't mean he's really a girl. That's the truth of this world," Garry said with another slurp. "I myself may be a good example; I talk and act like a woman, but I'm not one!"

"What? You're _**not**_ a woman?"

All heads in the table now turned to Kuroudo, who was gaping at Garry in disbelief. The purple haired man then glared at Kuroudo in return, "You can't tell?"

"Well… You look much like a man from the outside, but you can be a woman, by any chance…" Kuroudo scratched the back of his head. "You're too feminine to be a woman…"

"I 'M NOT A WOMAAAAAAAAAAN!" Garry suddenly stood up and banged the table angrily, much to the kids' shock. His feminine speech also switched to the manly one[7].

"I-I understand! Forgive me!" Kuroudo quickly stood up and bowed regretfully to Garry, which completely subsided Garry's anger in a matter of seconds.

"Whoa, whoa, easy! I'm the one who must apologize! My sudden outburst of anger must have scared you… I'm sorry," Garry comforted the younger boy. "Okay. Let's end this talk about gender. I'm tired of it."

After Garry and Kuroudo had seated back to their respective chair, Ken the vice head butler came to the table with another macaron tower. He said the macaron tower was free as an apology for Shuu's misbehaviour, much to the quartet's pleasure. While eating macarons, the four chatted about trivial things, like Kuroudo's passion for Kendo, Ib's fondness of rabbit, Garry's unique sense of fashion, and Mary's dream to become a great painter like her father. Mary once asked Kuroudo if the latter could practice Kendo using a palette knife[8], which replied with "No, it's dangerous!" and a sweatdrop.

"Welcome to Platina Parlour, Your Majesty!"

The butlers suddenly greeted in a loud, stern voice. The quartet looked at the entrance and saw a tall figure approached their table in high speed. Garry cursed under his breath when he realized who the figure was.

"Gaaaaaaarrryyyyyyy!" the figure put arms around Garry's shoulder and ruffled Garry's hair maniacally.

"Aeyl, get off me!" Garry hissed. Aeyl, the said figure, laughed mischievously before eyeing Garry's companions one by one. "Hey, who's that charming golden-haired boy? Another one for you to babysit, Garry?"

"It's Mocca-Marocchi's friend," Garry replied shortly.

"Ah, you two tend to get along easily with younger ones, huh?" Aeyl chuckled. For the next five minutes, Aeyl kept on bugging Garry with teases and insults, much to Garry's chagrin. Ib and Mary didn't seem care too much to Aeyl's presence, but Kuroudo was an exception. The dark turqiose eyed boy was utterly perplexed by Aeyl's extraordinary height, feminine face and voice, flat chest, broad shoulders, and muscled limbs. It was almost impossible to define Aeyl as either a man or a woman.

After Aeyl finally had left Platina Parlour, Kuroudo whispered to his companions, "Hey, a genderless one does exist, huh?"

Ib, Garry, and Mary nodded vigorously in unison.

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**References: **

[1]It's the title of a classic musical composition, but the one mentioned here is the one used as background music of "Ib" game.

[2]First similarity of Ib and Kuroudo ^^

[3]Actually it's never confirmed by Sunrise, but I believe it so. He has Caucasian look, Japanese surname, and extraordinary Kendo skill. Moreover, he spends his first seven years in France.

[4]Second similarity of Ib and Kuroudo

[5]Based on **vgperson**'s blog entry: "About Ib's name, "Ivu" in Japanese is to be spelled "Ib" in English.  
It's a name that's actually used overseas.  
And it's indeed meant to be different from "Eve."  
The exact reason is a secret, but… when main characters or important things have odd spellings, it's generally on purpose."

This is the original Japanese entry: "イヴの名前は、「Ib」＝イヴ、で合ってます。  
実際に海外で使用されている名前です。  
こちらは、あえて「eve」を避けています。  
理由は秘密ですが・・・重要な人物や物の綴りがおかしい場合は、たいてい「わざと」そうしています。  
時々本当に間違えている時もあります。"

[6]First similarity of Mary and Kuroudo; besides, their parting bang is in the left side!

[7]Garry speaks like a girl in Japanese language, for example he uses "atashi" just like how Japanese girls call themselves. When Garry was angry in this scene, he instead uses "ore" to call himself, just like how Japanese boys call themselves in a very informal or rude way.

[8]The two have their respective weapon. Kuroudo has a bamboo sword and Mary has a palette knife XD

Well, I write this because I think Kuroudo is "what will turn out if Ib, Garry, and Mary are combined to be one person". That's why I wrote so many references about similarities between the trio and Kuroudo. Yeah, it's crazy indeed. Forgive my fangirling. I love four of them so much!

Thanks for reading!


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